what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
