Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
