Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
