I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
