its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
