You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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