You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
