God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
