You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
