i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
