Do you still have your period?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Farmville is her only friend.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
ttyl tear gas
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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