that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
