Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
