oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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