A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
