What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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