you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
