Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
