Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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