apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
