You made me cry and you don't even care
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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