I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think I just sharted jello shots
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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