I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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