I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
