Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
