Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
