please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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