it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
