i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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