he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
