worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
