we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
