I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
