I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
