it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
