we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
