Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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