how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
