Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
