she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
