I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
