you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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