You're a womanizer and a bitch.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
