I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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