I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
