I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
