i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
