well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
