I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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