I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
